Some loyal readers have noticed my lack of new posts this winter and inquired about me. I'm fine, but there were a few setbacks.
Physically, I experienced a relapse of my formerly chronic trouble with neck and shoulder muscle knots and pain. It gets to the point where I can't turn my head right or left, and the constant muscle tetany causes exhaustion. Then I go for physical therapy. That's one of the things I've been doing for months now, and making slow slow progress.
One of the reasons I retired from my government job in 2006 was this problem that I could not control while holding down a full time desk job. I was fine for the next five years. Now it seems I can't control it even as a part time contractor, able to distribute my computer time in short intervals throughout the day. March through May are my busiest months for paid work while June-September are lightest, so I'm hoping to make better progress in recovering this summer.
On the mental/emotional side, I admit to two problems. One is realizing that not fully embracing "social media" was a mistake from the standpoint of my blogs getting noticed. I haven't been able to bring myself to enter that sphere, and until I'm much better physically, I can't afford sitting time at the computer to do it. But the main thing repelling me is a distaste for feeling THAT exposed. I don't want to socialize in that way. I guess I'm out of step with the rest of the human race.
The other emotional problem is...how shall I put this...a sense of horror ...a realization of just how limited the human species really is in coping with certain types of threats to its existence. Back in 2005-2006 I was aware that the response of humans to the threat of global warming from anthropogenic sources could be overwhelming denial and/or the global manipulation of resources by and for the most powerful few. Now both of those trends are securely established.
Meanwhile, the rest of us do what we can, and I'm still very proud of my community and the environmental activists within it. They have not let up their efforts or allowed discouragement to weaken their productivity. While governments dither, while one part of society is oblivious to the world around them, another part of society is working tirelessly to build a more sustainable future. It is unglorious labor.
My own contributions have been paltry this year and still center on using my bicycle as much as I can, and on developing my little backyard veggie garden. Nothing has so eroded my pleasure in living as having some of that curtailed by the shoulder-muscle problem. But with physical therapy ongoing, I DID get the garden planted last month and I DO continue to ride my bike, even if on shorter outings for now.
Most important, I'm past the overwhelming sense of exhaustion and active with my grandchildren once again.
I noticed a twig stuck in the ground in my daughter's backyard. She explained that her four-year-old found it and pronounced it to be an apple tree, and so the little child "planted" that twig and said it would grow into a beautiful tree with delicious apples for everyone.
I leave you with that vision. I have some twigs to plant.